Grammar Gripes - Cubs Fan or Cub Fan?

I haven't written about any of my grammar gripes in a while. This one bugged me for a long time.

I am not an English major, nor do I perfectly speak the Queen's English. I am open to anyone correcting me. I ran this particular one by my high school English teacher, the late great Roscoe Lindsay. He confirmed my feelings. So from now on, my grammar gripes are dedicated to Mr. Lindsay.

I often hear someone say they are a Cub fan or they are going to a Bear game. Unless you are a fan of only one Cubs player or going to a game played by one member of the Bears, please use the plural. It is not a Cub game. It is a Cubs game. You aren't a Bear fan (unless you only like one, as in Caleb Williams). You are a Bears fan.

Thank you for allowing me to vent. Please feel free to share your Grammar Gripes or to correct mine. Check back here for more Grammar Gripes.

Grammar Police: Today Years Old

This could be an Absurdities post, a rant or A Grammar Police post. It fits all.

I realize people want to be cute and funny on social media, but I absolutely hate posts that start with "I was today years old when..." There's no such thing. Stop it. Please just stop it.

I won't go into all the reasons it makes no sense. Let me ask this though. If you learned it yesterday, would you be yesterday years old when you...?

Because I have no lawn, I can't yell at kids for being on it. Now, I will shake my fist and yell at some clouds.

Grammar Police Watch: Unknown Parking Garage

This is a recurring series in which I expose spelling and grammar errors I encounter. They are inexcusable to me. This series is dedicated to Roscoe Lindsey, my English teacher in high school and one of the best teachers I ever had. RIP Roscoe.

I saw this picture posted on Facebook and knew it was perfect for this series. It always amazes me when printed/permanent signs have spelling erros.

Of course, maybe the garage managers were existentialists. Maybe they had a little Rene Descartes vibe going. Instead of "I think, therefore I am," maybe their motto is "I pay for parking, therefore I am."

Grammar Police Watch: Bollywood Salon & Spa

This is a potential new series in which I expose spelling and grammar errors I encounter. These aren't minor errors in print (like ones I make here, too). They are errors on a larger, permanent scale. They are inexcusable to me.

This series is dedicated to Roscoe Lindsey, my English teacher in high school and one of the best teachers I ever had. RIP Roscoe.

I wouldn't refer to Roscoe as "the grammar police," but I he definitely promoted using the Queen's English. In this era of social media, spelling and grammar are often sacrificed for speed and space limitations. Roscoe was not happy about this situation.

I am willing to give the benefit of the doubt for errors on social media, but other infractions have no plausible explanation. One such flub greets me every time I go for a bagel at my local deli.

A couple doors down from Kaufman's Bagels in Skokie is the Bollywood Salon & Spa. According to their neon window sign, "Gift certificate availabe."

Technically, there are two miscues on this sign. I think "gift certificate" should be plural. That is a minor, debatable error. I would let it pass if not for the bigger second error.

"Available" is misspelled. The second "l" was left out. At first, I thought it was maybe just a glitch in the neon, but upon closer look, the "l" isn't there.

How is there a spelling mistake on a neon sign? Shouldn't there be a fail safe check system to ensure proper spelling when such a sign is being made? It's not as if "available" is a strange word.

One could argue that the store owners might not be fluent in English. While that might be the case, whoever made the sign should be or should consult with someone who is.

In addition to the error annoying me, I really want to know if/when the mistake was noticed. Did the owners see it, but didn't care? If they saw it, I would assume they got a price break, but is that good enough to leave the sign as is? I don't know the cost of neon signs, but I would rather have an accurate sign. It reflects badly on the store owners (and the sign maker, too) who seemingly do not care enough to have an accurate sign.